I can't help but wonder what the connection between a mother and child must be like; that unconditional dependence for something so small - a connection so strong to something so fragile. Though it is this fragile strength that corroborates the connection; the utmost strength to protect and nurture contradicted with such a weakness for the safety and well being of one's child. I myself having always dreamt of being a mother, feel my quintessential destiny in this life is to be the epitome of wife and mother in such a way that family comes first. Family should always come first. And yet, something that can be so joyous and enlightening can be so devastating and unforgiving. In all my dreams and reveries for my own "avenir", every single hypothetical circumstance plays out perfect - no sudden mistakes or unfortunate happenings, only blissful joy. Tonight opened my eyes to the other end of the spectrum; the mothers who place all their love, hopes, and attention into their baby but then lose their newly born child. Actually, this loss can happen whether the child is young or old - death is still death.
"The Other Woman" is a film reflecting the topics of adultery and in this case, the good that can come of it. Though what appeared to be good only ended up being pain and loss. A mother, young and proud, immature but wise, lost her child to SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Though at the time of the death, she had fallen asleep with her baby gently caressed within her arms, suckling on her breast. She believed she had smothered her one and only daughter. How could someone live with such a guilt? A guilt of murdering your own flesh and blood? I have unfortunately experienced two pregnancy scares within my relationship with Edward. As immature and irresponsible as it is, I hoped. I prayed every minute of every day that I waited to find out if we had conceived our first baby - I was ready to be a mother. Both scares ended in false aspirations and wasted worry; this devastated me. I was so confused to think I missed something I never had, loved something that never existed. It defied logic. Yet, there are mothers in this world that experience the inexplicable joy of birthing a child and then, without any say in the matter, lose their baby to God. My heart goes out to you women - I shall pray for you.
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Jamie Ann Marie Smith, my beloved sister and most trusted friend, is currently expecting her first child. At five weeks into the pregnancy, her future baby shall either be Isabella Marie Rivera or Jacob Allen Rivera. Either way, I will be an aunt and a godmother! I couldn't be happier for you Jamie. I love you with all my heart; you and the baby. ♥
